One

I had a random encounter at my running group today that seemed to tie together so many crazy thoughts I’ve had recently. With the help of quite a bit of wine, and without wine since, my roommate has noticed that her life is pretty much stress free at the moment. Her biggest worry was getting her super long hair cut, and that finally happened Thursday. Now? Well, the power and internet have been sketchy today thanks to storms, but we’re safe and sound, so in the big picture, her life is super blissful. She’s gorgeous, healthy, gainfully employed, and has wonderful friends and family.

There are times when I am stupidly intimidated by this, given the lack of permanent job (but huzzah for gainful summer employment OUTSIDE!!!), the last $3 in my checking account before payday this week, and, oh yeah, the molar I chipped about 1 hour after all my insurance-covered dentists were closed for the next 67 hours on Friday afternoon. The tension built up to a physical manifestation in me last night and carried through to this morning. I even woke up before my alarm, thanks to the overactive mind.

In this state, I went off to running this morning. By doing training for obstacle course 5Ks with a group, I’ve gotten to talking to more and more mentors during the pre-run times. One guy, let’s call him Tim, and his wife are both mentors and in the obstacle course prep group. Tim’s wife is off to a cruise, so I naturally ribbed him about watching his wife go on a tropical vacay without him, which is when he told me how they can’t afford a trip, so she was actually filling in for someone who had to drop out last minute and didn’t have to pay for it. We started swapping stories about how we earn a paycheck. I realized just how I look up to elite runners. I think of them as machines- if they can train their body efficiently, push through the pain I hit when I go too fast with KR, then I just presume that they’re college educated, run as their distraction from the corporate world.

I don’t know quite what I’m trying to say, but running, for as individual of a sport as it is, has drawn me in to more and more people. “I’m a runner” is such a conversation starter, a sort of secret handshake, but we’re all human. The simplest form of transportation and exercise unites the Olympian, flailing grad student, equestrian, interior decorator, project manager and unfulfilled produce man. I get why people who run are drawn to each other, because even thought it might just be something you do for 30 minutes, 3 times a week, it takes heart, soul, strength, discipline to go pound pavement in the calm of the morning, rush hour sidewalk, or hidden trail.

As my right IT band makes my right knee creak (it’s a Powerstroke diesel to the left knee’s 2mph Prius), I remember why I run and long for a run that feels good inside and outside, that feeds my soul and recharges the endorphins. If I wasn’t a mentor for this running group, I would definitely take Dr. KR’s recommendation and just take off 2 weeks from running completely, but I just do intervals on Wednesday nights and Saturday mornings. The people are catching up to me as they get better and I fade, much to my chagrin. I hide it cleverly with funny stories, energy during the walking intervals, and the sly smile that asks if they want to run it in when we can see the finish line, but I can feel the “blegh” settling in. Am I still a runner if I’m injured and fading?

I get to see my mom and Charleston, SC next week. Maybe a change of settings with the mom who is just awesome will clear my head and heal me- inside and out.

Here’s to the next TV timeout

-Syd